Grow a Pair

I write this blog knowing full well it may offend the more conservative Christian friends I have somehow miraculously acquired.  To you, my sweet friends, I say, "Here is the real me!"  All the things you liked about me before this moment are still there.  But, I can no longer hide the fact that there is another side of me.  I am going to bare my sarcastic and irritated soul to you now.  Here are some things you should know about me.

(1) I won't shop or donate to The Salvation Army. 

(2) I wouldn't let my son join the Boy Scouts.  

(3) I won't shop at Lowes.  

(4) I won't eat at Chik-Fil-A.  

Why?  Because I will not support hypocrites and I will not reward stupidity.  

All-American, to me, shouldn't mean discriminatory.  Christian, to me, should not be synonymous with intolerance and judgment. 

It's really that simple.  

So, Chik-Fil-A and Salvation Army, although you purport to be  Christian organizations, you do something that Jesus never did.  I have a bible.  I dusted it off and checked. You judge and you discriminate.  Hey, I'm a pretty ho-hum Christian myself.  I grew up Catholic, which means that the Pope is my God (according to a Baptist I once met) and even I know that Jesus said "Love your neighbor as yourself."  I'm not sure how you're spinning that to justify your policy of intolerance, but you scream pretty loudly and seem pretty smug in your beliefs, so that must make you right.  Good luck with that.  I hope Jesus kicks your ass when you meet him.  Oh, wait.  Jesus would never do that, either!

Boy Scouts, welcome to the 21st century.  Perhaps your fear of pedophiles should be introduced to scientific data.  Boy Scouts, meet Jerry Sandusky.  Jerry Sandusky, meet the Boy Scouts.  It's not openly gay, upstanding citizens you should fear.  Take a good look at the "happily married do-gooder" with a burning desire to surround himself with children, especially ones from broken homes.  That seems to be the pattern. 

And, Lowes.  Where do I begin?  You caved in to FFA, a radical Christian group who was offended by a reality show about Muslims because the show didn't depict Muslims as wild-eyed, suicide bombers....you know, the way Muslims are in their scary dreams at night.  Sorry to disappoint you, Florida Family Association, but most Muslims are pretty innocuous.  Kind of like most Christians I know.  Except for Hitler, of course.  Oh, and you.  You're  freaking dangerous.   So Lowes, grow some balls and stand up to these nut-cases.  Advertise on any freaking show you want, even one about Muslims in America.  I used to shop at Lowes and I'm not afraid of  Muslims. And, you know, there are some Muslims who shop at Lowes, too. And, not just to buy fertilizer.  

Starved for Attention

We are all starved for attention here.
Everyone in my household, including the submissive urinating dog, Kelly.
I've grown so accustomed to the demands of "look at me" and "I need help on this", the words barely register.
So, when I ran into a full-grown woman who is off the charts on the "I need attention" scale, I found it simultaneously fascinating and annoying.
I was with her for one hour.  One hour.  It only seemed like a week.
Now, don't get me wrong.  I admire people who do kind things for others.  I think it's a terrific way to spend one's time.  But, after an hour (that I can never get back) spent with "Nancy Notice-me" boring us with tales of her benevolence, monopolizing the conversation, not listening to anything anyone else had to say...I found myself struggling to not roll my eyes.
To amuse myself, I actually started counting the number of times she mentioned the word "cancer." 21 times.  In an hour.  Friends, I used to work in a hospice and heard the word less times in a week than this woman spit out in an hour.  Chemo, 13.   Homeless, 9.  I started to wonder if shaving her head was more out of support for her friend with cancer, or to draw attention to herself in order to gain praise as a good person/friend.  When she couldn't make the meeting we were planning, she didn't say, "I have a prior obligation."  Nooooo.  She launched into a full-blown (and very loud) story of how she can't go because she will be working at a soup kitchen feeding the homeless. OH! And, then she will be driving her friend to chemo. OH YEAH! And, then saving baby seals from being clubbed to death.  (I might have made that last one up.)
Why did this annoy me so much?  Why?  I had to give this some thought.  This was my conclusion.  This annoyed me because I believe our motivations should be pure.  Good should be done with no expectation of reward or praise.  Otherwise, it is tarnished.
Ultimately, Needy Nancy did me a favor.  She forced me to not only look at myself but to make a vow to continue examining why I am moving in this new direction.  As a result, I have promised myself that, wherever I end up going, personally and professionally, I will keep my focus on doing the right thing for the right reasons.  (Don't roll your eyes.)